Day twenty-nine. The ThinkKit folks want to know if we’ve invented any new words in 2013. To this, we simply say:
In 2014 I have but one goal. Everything else is secondary to my primary concern of correcting a long-standing shortcoming of mine, something that’s been gnawing at me for over thirteen years. Namely, in the coming year I plan to – at long last – beat the final stage of the Nintendo 64 game Perfect Dark.
Obviously a goal so lofty requires some planning and preparation. Therefore I have set aside this time today to craft a strategy for finally defeating the so-far unbeatable Skedar Queen. Here’s my step-by-step plan of attack, to be implemented beginning 1st January, 2014.
1. Learn to play guitar.
Over the course of learning to pluck the strings of a standard-issue acoustic guitar, I surmise my thumbs will have grown calloused enough to effectively wield an N64 controller.
2. Practice, practice practice
Fortunately, my copy of Perfect Dark still has my middle-school-era game file saved on it. I will therefore be able to run through a regimented series of practice rounds in the Skedar Ruins. I think about thirty rounds per day should do it.
3. Transcendental Meditation
If memory serves, confronting the Skedar Queen puts me on the verge of a heart attack every time. Since uncountable attempts to best her have yet to yield success, I only get shakier and sweatier every time I try. The solution to this, then, would be to begin regularly practicing TM to steady my heart, mind, and trembling/slippery hands. In my zenned-out hands, Joanna Dark will reign victorious at last.
4. Entomology Course at IUPUI
The Skedar – Joanna Dark’s nemeses – are a race of insect-like warriors. Indeed, their nigh-invincible leader is their Queen, much like an ant queen, only bigger and with guns. I plan to take full advantage of this buggy weakness by studying up on insects in a college-level course on entomology.
Just try and stop me and my SuperDragon laser gun when I know all about the weak points of your thorax and respiratory spiracles, Skedar Queen!
So that’s the plan. I think it’s more or less foolproof. When I can finally put Perfect Dark behind me, I might even finally have the confidence to invest in a gaming console from after 1996.
I have just read the prompt, and I am prepared to deliver the nicety
Nice someone! Whether it’s a gift, a helping hand, moral support, or just doing something for someone else – write about what you did.
I’m about to go do something nice. I want to open myself up to the possibilities of niceness. What can I do to help someone else? Where can I find kindness that I have not seen before?
However, I will probably take a piece of banana bread with me just in case.
I realize as I am putting my coat on that strangers do not accept banana bread very often. Well, I suppose they might, but it can be a difficult conversation to broach.
OK. I’m packed up and headed to my neighbor’s house. I have a piece of banana bread and two Optic Nerves (#4 and #7). If you haven’t read AdrianTomine’s Optic Nerve series, I highly recommend it!
I knocked on my neighbor’s door. No answer. I knocked again. No answer. I opened the door and put the comics and bread on a table. “Hello?”
What if they think I’m a burglar? I hurried out of the house. The door slammed shut behind me. I thought, “Now, they will definitely think that I’m a burglar!”
I give you the most interesting man in the world.
I don’t know if this link will work WordPress is being real weird with videos…sorry I tried. But if it doesn’t work just search his name he has TONS of great footage/videos out there.
I discovered this crazy genius of a man this year and he’s changed the way I view A LOT of things like music, lyrics, language & humor.
He oozes with raw talent. What’s really interesting is that all of his performances are improvised! His music can go from complete gibberish to insanely soulful beats that you wished was a hit song!
All in all… I wish Reggie Watts could replace my car radio.
Emily (Know No Stanger)