PIGEON BUSINESS

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ThinkKit #29: A Word

Day twenty-nine. The ThinkKit folks want to know if we’ve invented any new words in 2013. To this, we simply say:

Let’s REXERCISE.

December 25

ThinkKit Day 22: The Perfect Plan

In 2014 I have but one goal. Everything else is secondary to my primary concern of correcting a long-standing shortcoming of mine, something that’s been gnawing at me for over thirteen years. Namely, in the coming year I plan to – at long last – beat the final stage of the Nintendo 64 game Perfect Dark.

Obviously a goal so lofty requires some planning and preparation. Therefore I have set aside this time today to craft a strategy for finally defeating the so-far unbeatable Skedar Queen. Here’s my step-by-step plan of attack, to be implemented beginning 1st January, 2014.

1. Learn to play guitar.
Over the course of learning to pluck the strings of a standard-issue acoustic guitar, I surmise my thumbs will have grown calloused enough to effectively wield an N64 controller.

2. Practice, practice practice
Fortunately, my copy of Perfect Dark still has my middle-school-era game file saved on it. I will therefore be able to run through a regimented series of practice rounds in the Skedar Ruins. I think about thirty rounds per day should do it.

3. Transcendental Meditation
If memory serves, confronting the Skedar Queen puts me on the verge of a heart attack every time. Since uncountable attempts to best her have yet to yield success, I only get shakier and sweatier every time I try. The solution to this, then, would be to begin regularly practicing TM to steady my heart, mind, and trembling/slippery hands. In my zenned-out hands, Joanna Dark will reign victorious at last.

4. Entomology Course at IUPUI
The Skedar – Joanna Dark’s nemeses – are a race of insect-like warriors. Indeed, their nigh-invincible leader is their Queen, much like an ant queen, only bigger and with guns. I plan to take full advantage of this buggy weakness by studying up on insects in a college-level course on entomology.

Just try and stop me and my SuperDragon laser gun when I know all about the weak points of your thorax and respiratory spiracles, Skedar Queen!

So that’s the plan. I think it’s more or less foolproof. When I can finally put Perfect Dark behind me, I might even finally have the confidence to invest in a gaming console from after 1996.

– Ryan

ThinkKit Day 18: ‘Tis The Season For Nice

6:07 P.M.
I have just read the prompt, and I am prepared to deliver the nicety

Nice someone! Whether it’s a gift, a helping hand, moral support, or just doing something for someone else – write about what you did.

I’m about to go do something nice. I want to open myself up to the possibilities of niceness. What can I do to help someone else? Where can I find kindness that I have not seen before?

However, I will probably take a piece of banana bread with me just in case.

6:12 P.M.
I realize as I am putting my coat on that strangers do not accept banana bread very often. Well, I suppose they might, but it can be a difficult conversation to broach.

6:19 P.M.
OK. I’m packed up and headed to my neighbor’s house. I have a piece of banana bread and two Optic Nerves (#4 and #7).  If you haven’t read AdrianTomine’s Optic Nerve series, I highly recommend it!

6:29 P.M.
I knocked on my neighbor’s door. No answer. I knocked again. No answer. I opened the door and put the comics and bread on a table. “Hello?”

What if they think I’m a burglar? I hurried out of the house. The door slammed shut behind me. I thought, “Now, they will definitely think that I’m a burglar!”

ThinkKit Day 16: What have you discovered this year?

I give you the most interesting man in the world.
REGGIE WATTS

http://youtu.be/344OpaQCAQI

I don’t know if this link will work WordPress is being real weird with videos…sorry I tried. But if it doesn’t work just search his name he has TONS of great footage/videos out there.

I discovered this crazy genius of a man this year and he’s changed the way I view A LOT of things like music, lyrics, language & humor.

He oozes with raw talent. What’s really interesting is that all of his performances are improvised! His music can go from complete gibberish to insanely soulful beats that you wished was a hit song!

All in all… I wish Reggie Watts could replace my car radio.

Thanks,
Emily (Know No Stanger)

ThinkKit Day 15: That Personal Touch

Hey! Ryan here again.

I’ve been thinking – or rather, lamenting – on my penmanship for years. I’ve been disgusted with my handwriting for as long as it’s been since it stopped improving; that puts the impetus of my lamentation at about age 6, by my reckoning. Since it’s not likely to change anytime soon, I tried to think of other ways I could validate my handwriting style, which has been referred to more than once as “serial killer writing.”

I imagined a world where I was entrusted with typesetting every marketed, shared, or otherwise distributed item. Never mind that not even the local used car lot would appoint me with this task; indulge me for a second and imagine…

There’s a quiet dignity about it, I think. A personal touch. I mean, I’ve never wanted to eat at Red Lobster before, ever, until right now.

So that’s something.

December 14: Share Advice or a Lesson

Did you get any good advice or learn a valuable lesson this year? Was it expected or unexpected, easy or tough? Share what you learned. A couple days ago I quietly boarded the Walking Dead bandwagon.  I had a little time to kill and I wanted to watch something but didn’t feel like watching a whole movie.  3 days later I’m halfway through the 3rd season.  Since I’ve spent more time in that world than the real one I can’t help but look at my surroundings through the lens of a zombie apocalypse.  Here is what I’ve learned. You have to shoot them in the head. You have to be quiet. Find shelter. Keep routines and chores going. Wash the guts off your face. Make friends, you’ll need a group to survive. Cover your smell to camouflage yourself. Establish a base. Keep watch. If your friend dies, kill them. Don’t shoot them, use like a knife or something. Wash the blood off your face. You have to keep moving. Stay together. Be quiet. Keep medical supplies close. Don’t run into the woods by yourself. Don’t stand close to deer. Wash the blood off your face. Don’t trust anyone. Establish a base. Stay on the move Forage for supplies. Establish a base. Don’t trust anyone. Make new friends. Don’t trust anyone even if they seem really nice. You should have a samurai sword or a cross bow. Wash the blood off your face. I thought these were just strategies for a hypothetical situation until I looked at them metaphorically.  In life, problems come at you and you can’t mess around. If you don’t shoot them in the head right away they will add up and become so many that there is no way you’ll make it out alive. Be quiet about drawing attention to yourself.  No one likes a bragger. Establish a home base, somewhere you can find rest and comfort but keep moving to new challenges and adventures. You have to make new friends but some people can be harmful to you.  Keep a watchful eye, you don’t have to be suspicious but be cautious.  The first time a friend hints at killing you you should probably start to rethink that relationship. Find your “sword or crossbow”  everyone has a tool that works so well when it’s in their hands.  For some it’s a pen, for others it’s a wrench.  You have to find your “weapon” and use it to it’s fullest. Wash the blood off your face because that’s gross and in life people are going to wonder why you are covered in blood. It would be pretty hard to find a job unless you wanted to be, like, a butcher or something.  Then blood would be pretty acceptable. -Michael

Think Kit: Day 12

“try something new.”  -completed by Alan Goffinski

Today I did the impossible.  I compiled an incomplete list of my favorite songs.  It is so incredibly difficult for me to do this kind of thing because there are so many variables!  This is painful to release because, you know, what if i’m forgetting like, a really really good song!  Eesh.  anyways, here it goes.

(pardon the inconsistent capitalization)

Favorite songs

Life is grand – old canes

Penetration – Pedro the lion

On top of the world – surrounded

Motorcycle drive by – third eye blind

Understanding in a car crash – Thursday

Ruby’s wishes – unwed sailor

Night windows – the weakerthans

16 days – Whiskeytown

Lies of serpents, a river of tears – Zao

The deep South – the promise ring

Roots radicals– rancid

Dejalo – Rilo Kiley

All my friends who play guitar – StarFlyer 59

The age of adz– Sufjan Stevens

In circles – Sunny Day real estate

Train in vain – the Clash

Our distance – comeback kid

Souled out!!! – Connor Oberst

A gentleman caller – cursive

Jolene – Dolly Parton

Centralia – early day miners

Sliding down – Edgar Meyer

Boulder to Birmingham -emmylou Harris

Psyche’s dagger – fly Golden Eagle

Everlong – Foo Fighters

Monachetti – further seems forever

High and dry -radiohead

It is well with my soul – Horatio g spafford. 

Atlantic City -Bruce Springsteen

Iowa backroads – roadside monuments

A kiss before I go – Ryan Adams and the Cardinals

Oh my God, whatever, etc. – Ryan Adams

Hoppípolla- Sigur Rós

Riot rhythm – sleigh bells

Disarm – smashing pumpkins

Miss Ohio- Gillian welch

Oh Cumberland – Matricia Berg

Party hard – Andrew WK

Hanging marionette – the Appleseed cast

When the ship comes in – Bob Dylan

 Perth – Bon Iver

If the breakman turns my way – Bright eyes

The spirit of jazz – the gaslight anthem

One year later – the get up kids

Hosanna – Hillsong

The end of an era – hopesfall

Bleed American – Jimmy eat world

Sadie – Joanna Newsom

Love you swore – John Mark McMillan

Methodist left – n.m. Kjeldsen

Summer seeds – Liza day

Time lapse lifeline – Maria Taylor

Gentlemen – me without you

Parking lot – mineral

Doing time – MXPX