Strangest Thing I’ve Seen All Year!

via Wallace Wimbley:
ImageWhat? What is that you’re asking me, now? Strangest thing I’ve seen all year?
Strangest thing I’ve seen all year…
Well, I mean, for crying out loud, I can barely see at any rate! But if you really wanna get into it, listen: it’s been a madcap, roller-coaster year for old Wimbley here. Let me think.
Well, of course, seeing an army of what was, by my count, at least seven-score dachshunds and miniature Schnauzers – held at bay but by the grace of goodness and a leash, mind you – barking and snarling at yours truly when I took the stage at Germanfest in the Rathskellar biergarten… Hoo boy, well, that left an indelible impression, let’s just say!
Of course these old peepers were subject to a variety of terrifically exciting (and nerve-racking) things over those weeks working with Know No Stranger to put on the best Optical Popsicle yet (Hi-Five Live, we called it)! I mean, you got exercising dinosaurs, the ghost of Whoopi Goldblum, and a rousing musical number all in one show, you’re bound to lay eyes on some whackadoo stuff during rehearsals! *chuckles*
Not to mention I watched the most famous action film star, arguably, of all time float away after his head literally ballooned up – this, mind you, after the yutz sucker-punched me. Guh, I’m still outta whack in the neck-to-lower-back-and-hip area from that ordeal.
But come to think of it, I saw something far stranger than any of that earlier this year. You’ll get a kick outta this. Listen. So I’m at the, uh, shopping center there downtown, and this guy in the Macy’s, right? He shows me this battery-operated toothbrush! I’m not kidding, it’s like right outta The Jetsons. I don’t know if you’ve seen this, but I’m thinking it’s gotta be pretty hard for an average Joe like you or me to just have it in the home, you know? What, am I a Rockefeller? Stop it already. Anyway, I think about that a lot. What an age, what an age…
What’s next, a vacuum cleaner that does all the work for you?


(dictated/not read)
WALLACE WIMBLEY is an accomplished producer and finagler of local live theatre and a frequent collaborator of Know No Stranger’s. Also, a surrogate uncle to pretty much everyone.

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